I Want to be Me Page 6

Not yesterday,

  Not tomorrow,

  See it and enjoy it now.

  The following day was overcast but it wasn’t raining. They all climbed aboard the bus, hopeful that it would be a pleasant day. Louise came over and sat next to Claudia. On the way to the first village they had quite a chat. The bus stopped at Guiting at the head of the River Winthrop.

  This was an ancient place that had many old oak trees. A small stream flowed down from a copse. Mrs Reed pointed out that Temple Guiting was a sacred place of the old Knights Templar. Claudia imagined a group of Templar warriors dashing out from the trees on their battle steeds and surging across the stream, with their swords gleaming in the sun. She told Louise but Louise had quite a different thought.

  ‘You’ve got a great imagination, Claudia,’ she said. ‘To me it looks like a great place to have a swim on a hot day!’

  They next stopped at Naunton, another old Cotswold village, and they all poked around there for a little while before getting back on the bus and going on to Bourton for lunch.

  ‘It used to be called the Venice of the Cotswolds,’ offered Mrs Reed, clearly enjoying herself immensely. ‘But today the best we can have is lunch on the river banks next to the old stone bridges.’

  Louise and Claudia found a good spot on the river bank and had lunch together. Claudia felt that Louise was easy to talk to, rather like Julia, and it seemed that they had something in common, although Claudia was certain it was not music. Louise was tall, athletic, absolutely brilliant at tennis and actually not too bad at school either. She lived at home with her mother, and Claudia gathered that they had their difficult moments from time to time.

  ‘How do you manage?’ asked Claudia. ‘You know, when your mum gets annoyed with you for some reason?’

  ‘My room! I go to my room. That’s my territory!’ Louise replied.

  ‘I suppose you keep it clean and tidy?’ ventured Claudia.

  ‘Not very likely!’ Louise exploded. ‘It’s a frightful mess most of the time – but it’s my mess, and Mum understands that now and stays clear. I call it my cave, and you wouldn’t believe it but Mum calls it that too!’

  They got on the bus after lunch and it continued on its way down the River Windrush, stopping at various villages to look at things like Norman doors and stonework, and old churches. The final stop was Minster Lovell, a village that had an old priory ruin, which had, according to the locals, a resident ghost.

  Claudia and Louise went down to the stream that ran below alongside a nearby wood. They sighted some trout that were moving slowly upstream, and when they turned and looked back at the priory the sun shining into the burned-out upstairs ruin made it seem like there was movement up there. Claudia thought it would be easy to imagine a ghost in that old priory.

  On the way back to school Claudia thought that she saw Stella staring at her with a black look on her face. She simply didn’t care. She had had a lovely day and found a new friend. Her whole life seemed to be changing so fast that it was making her head spin. She was changing. What could she do? She certainly couldn’t go back; she could only go forwards.

  As the bus finally came into Oxford, it came down Banbury Road, and looking through the window Claudia thought she saw two people who looked very much like Elfie and Finn going into a coffee shop in Summertown, but then thought that this was unlikely and that it was just her imagination running wild again.

  That evening dinner with Kate was the usual quiet almost silent affair. She did notice that Kate kept staring at her, but decided to take no notice and as soon as she could she disappeared upstairs into her room.

  The following morning Claudia woke up to the sound of a telephone ringing downstairs. She went to the door of her room thinking that it just might be Father calling from Saudi Arabia. It was Aunt Jane, and as her mother started to talk Claudia noticed that almost immediately the pitch of her mother’s voice began to rise and she began to sound upset again. She caught a few snippets of the conversation.

  ‘She won’t listen; it’s like talking to a ghost!’ she said at one point. ‘What can I do? It’s driving me mad.’

  Claudia sat down in the doorway of her room. She was genuinely puzzled. What was the ‘it’ that her mother referred to? After what appeared to be a rather heated exchange on the phone, her mother ran off to the lounge room in tears yet again. ‘What was wrong with Mother? If only Father were home!’ Claudia thought. She remembered the lovely times that they used to have together when they went out into the countryside for picnics, and she thought of the wonderful summer evening walks that they had along the canal, and across the meadow. Why had things changed?

  Claudia decided to have breakfast in the garden that morning. She thought that it was better to leave Mother alone for a while, and certainly she didn’t want to upset her. Claudia went right down to the bottom of the garden and sat down to her chair near the water’s edge. The canal was full of life as usual, and the sounds of birds relaxed her, and her thoughts soon turned back to Port Meadow and to that great crowd of people that made up the professor’ s orchestra. She really couldn’t wait to join them. It was such a different world. She felt they had helped her, but wasn’t quite sure how.

  As she sat there, sipping her tea in the morning sun, she thought that if the chance came of asking Julia about a few things, including Mother, she just might take the risk and do that. She didn’t know Louise quite well enough, and of course things got around at school. Who else was there? Yes, on Sunday over lunch she would try to talk to Julia. She just had to talk to someone.

  Late that afternoon something happened that made Claudia believe that she absolutely had to talk to Julia. As she came in the front door, Claudia sensed that something was wrong. Her mother was banging things in the kitchen, a clear sign that all was not well. Indeed it wasn’t.

  ‘Claudia,’ she called out. ‘Please come into the kitchen right away!’ Claudia dutifully went into the kitchen.

  ‘I was up in your room today, and it was – it was absolutely disgusting.’ She threw the tea towel onto a chair. ‘Shoes, books, and clothes – all over the place. And you’ve moved everything! What have you got to say for yourself?’

  Normally Claudia would wilt in the face of her mother on the rampage, but something told Claudia she should say something. What Louise had told her just popped out.

  ‘It’s my room, Mother,’ she said. ‘I want to keep it the way I want it!’

  Too late; it was out, and there was nowhere to hide now. Her mother’s eyes widened, her jaw dropped and as she tightened her group on the saucepan her knuckles turned white.

  ‘She’s going to throw the saucepan at me,’ thought Claudia, ducking in anticipation of a deadly missile coming her way very soon. But it didn’t. Her mother stared at her for what seemed a long time, then her eyes softened, and perhaps there was a tear or two as she relaxed her grip on the saucepan.

  Then she said rather quietly, ‘Go up to your room, then, Claudia, and see if you can tidy it up just a little bit. Would you do that for me?’

  Claudia quickly agreed. ‘Yes, Mother,’ she said, and quickly disappeared up the stairs as fast as she could.

  From her room she could hear her mother sobbing quietly in the kitchen. What was wrong? Was it her? Was she upsetting her mother without even knowing it? Her mother had always been concerned about things at school, but this seemed to be something quite different. If only Sunday could come quickly, so that she could talk to Julia. At least now she had her room. That was something that had changed for the better. She went onto her MySpace – she hesitated for a moment, and then entered the following thought.

  The Falcon has its room

  All of the sky.

  It owns the sky.

  This is MY room,

  My Cave.

  5

  Old College

  Claudia had not been mistaken when
she thought she had seen Elfie and Finn at Summertown on the Wednesday of that week. The two had arranged to meet to carry out their plan of going to Old College in disguise, to see if they could find out what was really going on.

  They met in a coffee shop to decide on their strategy. They decided that they would go dressed up as a college porter and a visiting professor. Finn was to be a college porter and Elfie was to be a visiting professor from Canada. The idea was that Finn, as the college porter, would show Elfie, as visiting Professor Oakley, around the college. They agreed to meet in full disguise at the college gates on Friday morning.

  Elfie had a hard time with his disguise, but eventually, with the help of a black wig, a complete change of clothes and shoes and a pair of large horn-rimmed glasses, he really did look the part. Finn, on the other hand, simply borrowed some clothes from a porter at his own college, and as a result he looked the real thing.

  On Friday morning they met a street away from the college and it was agreed that Finn would go in first, which was exactly what he did. He waited until the porter was busy, and simply slipped inside. When Elfie turned up, they again waited until the porter wasn’t looking and then the visiting professor walked in the front gate, where he was met by the new porter, Finn. Elfie had to prompt Finn about where to go, but their first port of call was the library.

  The library at Old College was magnificent. It was made up of several very large rooms, with high domed ceilings that were beautifully decorated. The desks and chairs were all made from yew wood, and the walls were panelled in English oak. Elfie believed that librarians generally knew everything that was going on in a college, because they were talking to students and staff all the time. He felt that this particular librarian, Dr Helen Brown, would know exactly what was going on. It would certainly be a good test of his disguise, because she had known him, on and off, for a long time. Finn went over to her office and asked if he could show visiting Professor Oakley from Canada around the library.

  ‘I haven’t been told,’ she said rather tartly. ‘Obviously you have. Well, show him in, I can give him a few minutes. By the way, you’re new, aren’t you?’

  ‘Yes I am. Just a moment, I’ll get the professor.’

  Elfie walked over to her office with Finn, who introduced him as a professor of music.

  ‘We have a good music library here, Professor,’ she said. ‘I think it’s one of the best in the country. We also have an excellent collection of old music manuscripts that you might be interested in having a look at.’ She looked at Elfie very closely. ‘Professor, do I know you from somewhere? You look quite familiar.’

  Elfie was quick to reply and did his level best with his new Canadian accent.

  ‘You look familiar too, Dr Brown. Is it possible we met at a conference recently, or perhaps in the last 12 months?’

  Elfie was flying a kite, but it appeared to work.

  ‘St Petersburg last year?’ she ventured.

  ‘Ah, yes! That must be it. You gave a talk, as I recall, and I believe a very good one.’

  Elfie was taking a calculated risk here. He was assuming that everybody who went to a conference gave a talk of some kind. He struck the jackpot. Dr Brown had given a leading paper at that very conference. Next thing, Elfie was having afternoon tea with Helen Brown.

  She was a nice person underneath, but outwardly quite prim and proper, with the suggestion in her manner and the way she talked that she could be made of steel. However, it is often the case that people will open up to strangers, when they might be much more careful with their colleagues, especially if there’s something worrying them. For whatever reason, it wasn’t long before Dr Brown had Professor Oakley rocking back in his chair in amazement.

  ‘My concern is that this ancient library, with its old special collections, is at great risk. The music collection that I’ll show you soon, and other valuable collections, could all be lost.’

  ‘How could they be lost? What’s the problem?’ Elfie asked.

  ‘An overseas takeover! From your country – a consortium from Canada is behind the whole thing. It’s money, of course, but that’s just the bait. I think it’s really a trap – they would agree to fund a music centre, but the result of that would be that we would lose control of everything. They’re after our valuable collections, but in the end, of course, we’ll lose control of the whole college.’

  ‘Ah! – A takeover from outside. We’ve had that kind of thing in Canada before. Terrible to watch! No good at all; nothing good comes from it. But surely, even if it happened, you would head up the new music centre?’

  ‘Unfortunately, no. The man behind the whole thing, I think, is Dr Sloan. In my opinion, if it happens, he’s the one who will end up in charge of any new music centre. And, believe me, Professor, he would sell us all down the drain! Oh! Please, don’t repeat that to anyone.’

  ‘Of course not! Don’t know anyone to tell anyway, and I’m off to Canada next week.’

  Helen Brown looked even more closely at the professor. Suddenly there appeared to be a twinkle in her eye, as if she did indeed recognise him. In any case, for whatever reason, she proceeded to tell Professor Oakley even more about this overseas group. Apparently it was a wealthy consortium that wanted to get a foothold in Oxford for its own purposes, and intended to start with the music centre at Old College.

  ‘There is a proviso, of course,’ said Dr Brown. ‘We have to win a music competition, the Port Meadow one, before it goes ahead. It has something to do with status, and the Canadian backers. I’m told it’s in the bag, unfortunately.’

  Elfie was pleased. This was extremely valuable information. It explained a lot about recent events and it told him what they were really up against. It explained Dr Sloan’s crazy behaviour.

  Helen Brown seemed to quite like Professor Oakley from Canada. She showed him through the library and spent some time explaining some of the music manuscripts. On passing, she made the offer of lunch in the dining hall.

  ‘Will I see you for lunch, then, Professor?’ she pressed.

  This left Elfie with nowhere to go. ‘Yes – yes, of course,’ he said, taken by surprise at her insistence on him coming to lunch.

  If his disguise had held up for Helen Brown, who had known him for so long, then surely lunch shouldn’t be such a problem. He decided to go. He took Finn aside and asked him to wander around the college and find out whatever he could, while he went off to the dining hall. He knew it well, of course. It was a superb hall. It had a towering ceiling, domed in the style of the college itself, with walls that were a combination of old stone and oak panelling. Oil paintings of past masters looked down on the beautiful oak refectory tables. These were stretched out down each side of the dining hall, with high table in the middle at the end of the hall.

  Elfie walked up the marble staircase to the huge timber doors that opened into the dining hall. He began to worry that he had made a mistake accepting the invitation to lunch.

  ‘This is a bad mistake. Someone will surely know me. What will I do if I’m found out?’

  He was on the verge of a complete funk. There were students down either side of the hall, and there were college staff seated at the high table. He was about to go into full retreat when Helen Brown turned up at his side and in the twinkling of an eye marched him up to high table.

  ‘I’d like to introduce Professor Oakley,’ she said. ‘He is a visiting professor of music from Canada.’

  She then introduced the master of the college, Dr Marcus Fennell, the registrar, Mr Jenkins, and Dr Oliver Sloan, head of the music department.

  ‘Welcome, Professor,’ said the master. ‘Do come and join me. I don’t know why people don’t tell me exactly when we have visiting dignitaries. I seem to be the last person to know the details. Of course, I was expecting you, but you know what it’s like when you’re master: everyone wants you at the last minute.’

&n
bsp; Elfie recognised this immediately as a pretentious face-saver, but Sloan took it as high praise of Professor Oakley and practically ran around the table to sit next to Elfie.

  ‘Tell us something about yourself, Professor Oakley,’ said the master.

  Thinking desperately on his feet, Elfie replied in his best possible Canadian accent.

  ‘I’m here looking at music manuscripts from the early times. I’ve had discussions with Dr Brown, and, with what I’ve seen, I’m most impressed.’

  ‘Not the only things musical we have, Professor,’ said the master, preening himself and looking quite smug. ‘We should make more of our college treasures.’

  ‘They are our heritage after all,’ said Helen Brown almost defiantly. ‘We are here just to look after them – for the future.’

  ‘A librarian’s view, of course!’ said Jenkins, the registrar. ‘Colleges have to move on, move forwards and provide for the future!’

  ‘Our past is our future!’ snapped back Dr Brown. The master intervened, with an overgenerous smile.

  ‘Now, now, we mustn’t have a college spat in front of a visitor. You can see, Professor Oakley, there’s a difference of opinion here about our future. For myself, at the moment I’m undecided. Much may depend on Dr Sloan’s performance at the upcoming orchestra competition. There’ll be important overseas visitors. I’m assured that it’s in the bag, isn’t that right, Sloan? That is what you told me.’

  There was a decidedly sharp edge to the master’s tone. Elfie noticed a change in the master’s tone. As he turned to look at Sloan, his eyes narrowed; there was a twitch in his left eye.

  Dr Sloan shifted about uncomfortably in his seat. He nervously brushed back his long, rather oily-looking black hair. Then his familiar sneer appeared.

  ‘No trouble at all, Master. Our main opposition are has-beens. I gather people are even leaving their orchestra. You know, rats deserting a sinking ship. I’m very confident we’ll get there.’